As Harry turn 40 will he stop living in the past and stop family feud?

Prince Harry at 40: ‘Damaged by divorce, troubled by exile, but born to be a dad’, says royal expert
Prince Harry will be celebrating his 40th birthday today with his wife Meghan Markle and their two children, but there will be a “tinge of sadness” for the royal as he reflects on his own childhood

Prince Harry, once known as the nation’s cheeky chap with a mischievous glint in his eye, has had quite the transformation over recent years. Now, as he celebrates his 40th birthday, experts say becoming a father has been the making of the Duke. The Duke of Sussex has embraced fatherhood with his two little royals five year old Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, aged three. A top royal commentator has noted Harry’s natural flair for being a dad.

highlighted Harry’s paternal instincts: “There’s something about Harry that makes you think he was born to be a dad.” She attributed it to “his natural playfulness” or simply his own desire for a family.

Indeed, Harry himself has never hidden his intent to be a parent. “I’ve longed for kids since I was very, very young,” he expressed in 2012. He admitted to waiting for “the right person and someone who’s willing to take on the job.” Jennie said: “There’s something about Harry that makes you think he was born to be a dad. Perhaps it’s his natural playfulness, of which we still get glimpses, or, rather more obviously, the fact that he told the world that he couldn’t wait to start a family of his own.”

In 2016, Prince Harry’s life took a romantic turn when he met and swiftly fell for Meghan Markle, leading to their marriage two years later. The couple’s dream of parenthood came true with the birth of Archie Harrison in 2019, followed by the arrival of Lilibet Diana in 2021. As they grow up in sunny California, Harry is poised to pass on valuable life lessons to his children amidst their idyllic lifestyle.

“Harry has always been quite sporty, and very competitive,” Jennie comments. “I bet he gets the kids involved in all sorts of games and makes it incredibly fun, as well as teaching them skills like surfing or football. The warm weather and outdoor lifestyle in Montecito must make bringing up children a joy, so much easier to get them away from screens and TV, which Harry and Meghan clearly both feel very strongly about.”

Despite his commitments to charity and his role as an international advocate for mental health and environmental issues, Jennie believes Harry is deeply engaged in fatherhood. “I think he is relishing his role as a parent and playing the fullest part he can in the lives of his two tots,” she asserts. “He’s lucky enough to be able to share most of their lives so I’m sure Harry is a devoted dad and no stranger to nappy changing or school runs. I think he finds the security and anchor in his little family that was sadly missing in his own broken childhood home.”

Princes William and Harry had a difficult childhood
Prince Harry’s childhood was clouded with emotional upheaval from his parents’ tumultuous separation and their public brawls, Jennie recalls. “It’s hard to know exactly when the damage wrought by his parents’ broken marriage began to make its mark on Harry,” reflects the author. “He was only eight when Charles and Diana officially separated, but he had witnessed the marital difficulties long before that. I’m sure the insecurity of his own childhood has made him all the more determined to give his kids the perfect upbringing and to have them wrapped in a bubble of love and awareness of the love between their parents.”

The Sussexes’ move abroad has led to Archie and Lilibet barely knowing their relatives a challenging affair given their close succession to the throne. “This is the saddest part of their exile,” remarks the commentator. “At the moment, the children don’t know any difference, but as they grow up Harry and Meghan will have some delicate manoeuvring to negotiate to explain the situation. It must be something that troubles Harry as a dad.”

Jennie remarked on the poignant situation, saying: “Imagine Archie, aged 15, telling his friends, ‘My grandpa is/was King! And my uncle is/will be King too.’ But he hardly knew or met them. How sad… and Meghan would have to bear the brunt of the responsibility for that.”

She continued: “I’m sure that, like Harry, she wants the very best for their children… and that will include an understanding of their background. I just hope that by the time Archie and Lili grow up, things will be calmer and the family more united, even if they continue to live thousands of miles apart. This is not the children’s fault or responsibility so let’s hope the adults can make it a better world for the next generation of royals.”

Prince Harry, born Henry Charles Albert David on 15 September 1984 at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington, was immediately distinguishable from his brother William, as he bore the Spencer family resemblance with his red hair, a trait from his mother’s side, evident in his early photos.

Prince Harry’s Spencer family genes were quickly obvious thanks to his red hair ( Image: Tim Graham Photo Library via Getty Images)
Harry’s early years were marked by constant movement; he split his time between Kensington Palace in London and Highgrove House in Gloucestershire, later moving to Clarence House, all while attending various boarding schools. Harry has never been one to hold back when it comes to criticising his father for the distance and priorities he had when Harry and his brother were young. Despite the current gaping divide between Harry and his family, there’s no denying the lingering warmth between father and son.

When Charles announced his cancer diagnosis in February, Harry made a whirlwind 24-hour trip to the UK to see him, despite their meeting lasting less than 45 minutes. “The fact that I was able to get on a plane and go to see him, and spend any time with him, I’m grateful for that,” Harry confessed on Good Morning America a few days later, adding, “Any illness, any sickness, brings families together.”

While many aspects of Harry’s relationship with his family have been laid bare for all to see, one constant source of strength for him has always been his late mother, Diana, Princess of Wales.

Frequently citing her decision to step away from the monarchy as a guiding light, Harry continues to draw inspiration from Diana when making significant life choices – including how to raise his children, Archie and Lilibet. “Her sense of fun, of mischief, of open affection and love for her boys must carry through to Harry in the way he is bringing up the children,” Jennie suggests. “She organised play days and work days for her sons… but Harry doesn’t have to worry about instilling that kind of discipline into his little ones and I think he will be delighted that they are free to choose their own way in life.”

Jennie’s perspective is mirrored by family therapist Fiona Yassin who told OK!: “We know that Harry has had a lot of trauma throughout his life and this will undoubtedly impact the way that he chooses to parent. But it’s not only the trauma that will have an impact – how he was raised will also have a huge influence. Diana was certainly a very hands-on mother and this will no doubt be mirrored in Harry’s style and something he wants to replicate.”

Both Harry and Meghan regularly share updates on their children. In a chat on Good Morning America in February, Harry said, “The kids are doing great, growing up like all kids do very, very fast. They’ve both got an incredible sense of humour and make us laugh and keep us grounded every single day, like most kids do. I’m just grateful to be a dad.” As for how Harry might plan to celebrate his big birthday, Jennie suggests, “I think Meghan will make a big fuss of her man as this is the first landmark birthday for him they have celebrated together. I imagine they’ll have a family day because that makes Harry happiest, and then a bit of a do in the evening with some of their closest celebrity friends in LA.”

September also marked the anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II’s passing
September also marked a momentous occasion in the royal calendar as we commemorated the second anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II’s passing. The late monarch witnessed Prince Harry and Meghan’s controversial exit from their royal roles and their bombshell Oprah interview, yet she still maintained a treasured bond with her grandson.

Reflecting on their connection, royal commentator Jennie stated: “You only have to think back to that short video of Harry and his grandmother doing a ‘drop the mic’ skit publicising the Invictus Games to appreciate how well they got along,” further noting, “Harry has claimed that they had a pretty special relationship and I’m sure they were very close. Part of that was undoubtedly because Harry was so young when his mother died, and his granny was there to comfort him at Balmoral.”

Jennie added: “September is a month that will always be tinged with some sadness for Harry. Even though it is a time of celebration for him, it is one for reflection too. For Harry, that could well include some fond thoughts of the happy times he spent with his granny, even though their relationship was sadly strained in her final years.”